Monday, April 23, 2012
The list has changed my life.
I have always been in relationships; leaving only a few weeks in between relationships, many of which lasted for years. After leaving my ex last year I wanted to spend a lot of time on myself and I didn’t want another relationship that didn’t fulfill my needs. I was sick of not being treated like I wanted to be treated.
It was around this point whilst soul searching that I got some really great advice from a person who seems to me to have wisdom far beyond his years. He and his gorgeous fiancé had a wonderful chat to me and supported me a lot. He said that at a point in his life he wrote a list of everything he wanted in a partner and everything he didn’t want and 6 months later he found the woman of his dreams.
I took this advice on board and wrote my own list, I decided that I wouldn’t leave anything out. I ended up writing 7 pages detailing everything from his smile to his sense of humour to how he treats me. Every single thing I could think of that I did and didn’t want in my dream man was put on paper. Once I had finished I read through the list (and kept reading over it every week) and deep down inside I didn’t believe that this person existed. How could that perfect man exist?! And even if he did exist what were the chances that he lived in Brisbane and was single and attracted to me!?! It seemed impossible.
Well, all I can say is I am so glad I wrote that list. About 6 months after I finished writing that list, by pure chance, I met him.
I met someone who shared my beliefs and values. Someone who, like me, doesn’t understand contemporary art. Who LOVES food, training hard and always sees the lighter side of life. Who will spend time asking me about my day, watch daggy tv shows with me and laugh at my corny jokes (and make a few of his own!)
Now some may believe it is the law of attraction that brought him to me. Some may think pure luck, chance or fate. Perhaps because I took the time to truly think about what I wanted in a person that made me more open to finding him. I knew what I wanted and so was only interested in men that had those attributes.
All I can say is I’m really glad I wrote that list.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Change is an interesting thing, it seems simple but can be the hardest thing to achieve and maintain. We all have things about ourselves and our lives that we would like to change. I would like to share a couple of stories with you about a few changes that have occurred in my life and how these can be utilized in your life too so you can be a happy, positive, high on life, superhuman.
There was a time when I didn’t lead a very inspiring life. I was unfit, unhealthy and unhappy. I think back to those days now and am so grateful to be where I am now having been through some dark times. I believe it is those challenges that create us into the amazing people we are. The best thing about going through an eating disorder, chronic pain, addiction, depression and self-harm is the knowledge I now have to utilize to help other people with their challenges. The most important lesson I have learnt is – everyone goes through ‘stuff.’ Some people have a lot more ‘stuff’ go on in their lives, that doesn’t matter. What does matter is what you do after said stuff. Do you stay the same unhappy person blaming life/God/other people for what has happened to you? Or do you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and MAKE SOMETHING OF YOUR LIFE!?!
For me, it took about 5 years before I gave myself a massive kick up the ass (with the help of my circle of influence) and changed my life. So change doesn’t happen instantly and don't expect it to happen immediately and smoothly.
I needed time to develop my beliefs and values to be able to ‘fire’ some people from my life and make some big changes. I moved from Tasmania to Brisbane with my then partner of 5 years. And once I started at Max (my fitness/business college) I learnt about circle of influence and how important it is to be surrounded by people with similar beliefs and values to you. I loved this period in my life, at college I was learning SO much, opening my mind and making a lot of new friends. Sadly, while I was learning all about health, fitness and creating your ideal life at the end of the day I was returning home to an unhappy relationship and a circle of influence who smoked, did drugs and drank alcohol everyday. I felt very unhappy and out of balance with this for a long time. I spent hours chatting to a couple of good friends of mine about how my partner and I had grown apart. But didn’t do anything about it. One day after hearing B-Huge chat about circle of influence and your personal beliefs and values and how important it is to be living in line with these I decided enough was enough! And I made some bloody big changes!!
And in the space of one week I had no job, no partner, no house and no car. Lucky for me I had an amazing circle of influence from Max. Amazing, goal driven people who helped me get back on my feet, fed me, let me stay at their houses and supported me through a massive time of change.
I learnt from this that the only person holding you back is yourself. If you want to change DO IT!! Think it through and if it is necessary and in line with your values and beliefs then kick yourself up the pants and take some action!! Recently I have had a few people discuss the issue of change with me and I thought that not enough of us really take enough action! What is stopping you from your ideal life? Is it you?
Finally, the best thing about change is once you have changed you can then improve not only your life but the lives of people around you.
I am only one person and I can’t change the world on my own. So I’m asking you to step up. If you know how great it is to be fit, happy, healthy and strong share that feeling to others. Inspire others to be the best they can be by being a better version of yourself; by constantly leaving a profit and improving the world just by being in it.